Casino Quotes Funny

Gambling has been enjoyed by mankind since before the written record of history. Now that’s quite some time. So, with it having been around for so long, it’s had plenty said about it, and we’re revealing to you some of the best gambling quotes from across the years.

• Famous Movie Casino Quotes
• Casino Sayings Funny
• Quotes From Casino

We’ve got some downright funny winning quotes, others are more morose, others still are insightful, and the rest? Well, they may just offer you a new way of thinking.

I’m always looking for good quotes about money and frankly got tired always searching for them. I figured it would be much easier to put them all in one place. 🙂 So here you have it.95 funny and inspirational quotes about money. If I missed your favorite, be sure to share in the comments below. Funny Money Quotes. Explore 72 Casino Quotes by authors including Scott Adams, Mitch Hedberg, and Paul Hollywood at BrainyQuote. 'The world is like a reverse casino. In a casino, if. The Best Gambling Jokes and Funny Gambling Quotes Top 10 Gambling Jokes and Funny Gambling Quotes assembled by NoLuckNeeded.com. Please share your funny gambling jokes below in the comment section. If you like poker, check out NoLuckNeeded's huge list of The Best Poker Jokes & Funny Poker Quotes My wife has left me because I am a compulsive. “The casino played a song of its own—slot machines dinging, chips clacking as the dealer passed them out to the players at the tables, and the chatter of people throwing down money with the hope of hitting it big. It was like a carnival for adults. A person could get lost for days in a place like this.”.

Here's a quick look at some of the greatest quotes on betting ever said (or written).

Eat your betting money but don't bet your eating money.

Who doesn’t love a good ol’ play on words? Especially when their simplicity reveals such profound wisdom. The idea is simple and just as relevant to your prince as it is to your pauper. Go wild with the winnings you get from gambling and spend it how you please, but don’t put the money for your food and rent into a bet.

Popular amongst those who don’t like gambling or risk-taking. And, as Italy was, and still is, very Catholic, it’s no shock that they claimed this proverb. You never know where the dice will land, and this proverb asks why you should bother trying your luck.

The appeal and temptation is acknowledged, after all the dice are already in your hand, but you can still walk away. You lose the chance of a potential win, but you can be certain you’ll suffer no loss. Gamblers prefer to live by, 'nothing ventured, nothing gained', and give themselves over to Lady Luck!

In a bet, there is a fool and a thief.

The cold light of day shone on any bet. A harsh approach, it suggests that the winner, the thief, lured in the innocent fool and robbed them.

While there can only be one winner, usually the bookmaker or casino, and the odds are stacked against the gambler, it’s all in the name of fun. If you go in knowing all this and set limits, it’s hard to call you a fool.

A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way.

Author of the great American novel, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain made a lot of money from his successful writing career but after a couple of disastrous investments had to file for bankruptcy.

A man after our own hearts, he says that it's always sweeter to make a dollar on a great bet than to earn it through grafting on a hard day's work. Maybe it’s because of the thrill of the win, the risk involved, and the instant gratification. Or maybe it’s the glamour and because we didn't work for it. Either way it feels like easy money. Free money. And that’s worth celebrating.

By the way, if you're wondering, 'Faro' is a card game that was very popular in the 1800s until it was later surpassed by poker.

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

An American humorist, cartoonist, and journalist, Kin Hubbard always got his point across by making us chuckle. And the above quote is no exception. He plays with literal meaning, yes your wallet will have more of a bulge, but his point is clear.

There’s no risk involved in folding your money over once, so it’s safe. But if you are looking to double your money, you need to step out of your comfort zone.

The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip was a genius.

Using chips in casinos is probably how so much money gets bet in each game. When you win big, you know about it and you are literally rolling in it, but when you want make a bet, it doesn’t seem like much to put down a few chips. Especially the chips with higher value.

The guy who invented the chip worked out that this simple trick meant way more people would part with more money. It’s like spending with a credit card. When there’s no hard cash involved you lose a sense of the value.

Of course, another advantage is that it keeps games organized, and with chips being thrown around from player to game to player, they need to be durable, the kind of durable that paper money lacks.

A gambler never makes the same mistake twice. It's usually three or more times.

Famous Movie Casino Quotes

Terrence Murphy has written a lot about gambling over the years, and his alter ego, VP Pappy, is quoted across many gambling magazines. His observations about gambling tend to be insightful yet tongue-in-cheek, probably borne from his own experiences, and the quote above ticks those boxes.

We’ve all been there, believing with all our being that THIS roll is the one. And when it’s not, it’s the one after that. Or the one after that. And it goes on. But this doesn’t have to be your fate! There's more than enough strategic information out there to make sure you're playing your games of choice the right way.

I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.

A funny gambling quote from a much-loved comedian. Mitch Hedberg’s deadpan style appealed to audiences across his short-lived career and poked fun at everyday observations. He became something of a cult icon before his premature death.

Just like this quote, he used a lot of one-liners with snappy punchlines to get the laughs.

You know, horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.

Will Rogers was a Hollywood star of his time and led the field in political wit, and used his great sense of humor to entertain the public. This quote takes a direct approach, but the joke is still pretty funny. Funny and true as it ridicules us for our ways of having fun.

If there weren't luck involved, I would win every time.

Known for being temperamental amongst other fellow famous gamblers, this professional has got himself the nickname of 'Poker Brat'. But with that fire comes talent, he’s won a record 14 World Series of Poker bracelets over the years, winning loads of money along the way!

We can see from his success that he’s very skilled and, from what he says above, might not be so lucky. That’s the beauty of games like poker, though. A mixture of strategy and luck will get you that win meaning that players with less ability might actually win against those with all the know-how. With luck thrown in, you never know what will happen and that’s what keeps players coming back over and over again for more.

Quotations about Gambling

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Money won is twice as sweet as money earned. ~From the movie The Color of Money
If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough. ~VP Pappy
For most men (till by losing rendered sager)
Will back their own opinions by a wager.
~George Gordon, Lord Byron, 'Beppo'
A pack of cards is the devil's prayer-book. ~German Proverb
Gaming is the son of avarice and the father of despair. ~French proverb
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something. ~Wilson Mizner
The subject of gambling is all encompassing. It combines man's natural play instinct with his desire to know about his fate and his future. ~Franz Rosenthal, Gambling in Islam, 1975
The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. ~Hugh E. Keough
In a bet there is a fool and a thief. ~Proverb
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. ~Kin Hubbard
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. ~Gloria Steinem
The typical gambler might not really understand the probabilistic nuances of the wheel or the dice, but such things seem a bit more tractable than, say, trying to raise a child in this lunatic society of ours. ~Arthur S. Reber, The New Gambler's Bible
No wife can endure a gambling husband, unless he is a steady winner. ~Thomas Robert Dewar
The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice is so pleasurable, that I assume it must be evil. ~Heywood Broun
If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. ~Chinese Proverb
There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. ~Jack Yelton
A permanent and intense interest is acquirable in baccarat, or in any other game, but you have to buy it. You don't get it by standing around and looking on.... Constantly money and chips are flung upon the table, and the game seems to consist in the croupier's reaching for these things with a flexible sculling oar, and raking them home. It appeared to be a rational enough game for him, and if I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed... ~Mark Twain, 'Aix, the Paradise of the Rheumatics'
In most betting shops you will see three windows marked 'Bet Here,' but only one window with the legend 'Pay Out.' ~Jeffrey Bernard
A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope. ~William Bolitho
I met with an accident on the way to the track; I arrived safely. ~Joe E. Lewis
In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there. ~Author Unknown
Man is a gaming animal. He must always be trying to get the better in something or other. ~Charles Lamb, Essays of Elia, 1823
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. ~R.E. Shay
If you would read a mans Disposition, see him Game, you will then learn more of him in one hour, than in seven Years Conversation... ~Richard Lingard, A Letter of Advice To A Young Gentleman Leaving the University, Concerning his Behaviour and Conversation in the World, 1670
The house doesn't beat the player. It just gives him the opportunity to beat himself. ~Nick Dandalos
Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money. ~Author Unknown
A race track is a place where windows clean people. ~Danny Thomas
A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety and nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stocks snuggles into your heart in the same way. ~Mark Twain (at Bayreuth)
Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on you face. ~VP Pappy
Luck never gives; it only lends. ~Swedish Proverb
By gaming we lose both our time and treasure - two things most precious to the life of man. ~Owen Felltham
At the gambling table, there are no fathers and sons. ~Chinese Proverb
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. ~Author Unknown
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people. ~Will Rogers
No dog can go as fast as the money you bet on him. ~Bud Flanagan
Horse racing is animated roulette. ~Roger Kahn
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five. ~Henny Youngman
One of the healthiest ways to gamble is with a spade and a package of garden seeds. ~Dan Bennett
A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. ~Author Unknown
The better the gambler, the worse the man. ~Publilius Syrus
A number of moralists condemn lotteries and refuse to see anything noble in the passion of the ordinary gambler. They judge gambling as some atheists judge religion, by its excesses. ~Charles Lamb, Essays of Elia, 1832
There is but one good throw upon the dice, which is, to throw them away. ~Author Unknown
Games of chance are traps to catch school boy novies and gaping country squires, who begin with a guinea and end with a mortgage. ~Author Unknown
Betting is the manure to which the enormous crop of horse-races and racehorse breeding in this and other countries is to a large extent due. ~Richard Blackmore, The Jockey Club and its Founders, 1891
Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people. ~W.C. Fields
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. ~Ambrose Bierce

Casino Sayings Funny

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Quotes From Casino